All of the "experts" feel obligated to recommend, nay, encourage it, rushing to reassure their male readers (in their various ways) that liking it doesn't make you gay.
Well, okay. I know that.
My fear, though, is that I will enjoy it a lot -- and my Partner In Crime will hate it. Logically, for every straight male who enjoys anal sex, there's a female partner performing (or enduring) an act she may find offensive, painful or (at best) uninteresting. The sex advice columns are rife with letters from women who've had unpleasant experiences with anal sex ("more painful than childbirth," one woman said), beg their husbands not to make them do it, and are told by their idiot partners that "they just aren't adventurous enough."
That isn't going to happen.
There are also plenty of letters from women who enjoy it and wondered why they waited so long to try it.
The Playboy Advisor observes that many women's bad experiences are attributable to using too large an object, too little (or no) lubricant -- and an impatient moron attached.
Work your way up to full penetration with lots of lubrication and smaller objects like fingers... The abundance of nerve endings around the anus provides immense pleasure, but it's not a place you just shove something the size of a dildo without plenty of lube and preparation. [Emphasis mine.]
It takes lubrication, relaxation, and most of all trust. On the other hand,
Many people find that gentle stroking of the anal opening is all the anal stimulation they desire.
And some people never warm to it no matter how gently they take it. And that's okay. I feel no compulsion to do this, and I am in no hurry. It's more like I regret not having explored it when we were younger and more flexible
I am merely... curious.
No one seems to know why women find anal sex play pleasurable (when they do), since women don't have a prostate, but they can and do.
(But then, as the Playboy Advisor commented, some "experts" don't know why women find regular sex pleasurable. Some insist that women don't -- that only the human male experiences orgasm, and whatever that is you're having is something else.
From The Thinking Woman's Guide to Buttfucking:
I also remember the first time I told a gay male friend that I liked to take it up the ass. You know who gets really wigged out when they find out that some women like to get buttfucked? Gay men, that's who. The conversation went something like this:
"But why do you like it?"
"Well, it feels good. Doesn't it? You like it."
"Yes, but you don't have a prostate gland."
"So? Is that the only thing you like about it? Getting your prostate gland stimulated?"
"Well, no, but ... but ... " he gibbered incoherently.
You'd think they'd invented it. It's almost as if being a queer guy was like joining a secret society, and buttfucking was the secret club handshake. God forbid women should like it too; it'd be like finding out the whole world belonged to your Elks' lodge.
With men it's less of a puzzle. Men will fuck any orifice they can reach.
I remember on one occasion years ago, this subject arose, and she was not averse to pursuing it, up to and including full anal intercourse (if I understood her correctly). It was I who shied away from it. At the time, the suggestion startled me. I was unclear whether she actually wanted to, or was just willing to because she thought I wanted to. She seemed receptive to the idea, and I regret that I wasn't. I am now.
Perhaps I'm thinking too much. "Willing" doesn't mean "grudging", and there's a lot to be said for "what the hell, let's try it."
All sources recommend using plenty of lubricant, and lubricated condoms as well for safety's sake. (The bacteria that live in the rear entrance are not compatible with those that live in the front. Unprotected anal sex is a common cause of prostate infection.)
The anus can accommodate almost any size penis, given relaxation, lubrication, and preparation. Sources insist that, after a short break-in period (bad choice of words?), if we're doing it right, it doesn't hurt. It may be comforting to know that my penis' circumference is narrower than many. (Good thing I'm not sensitive about that.)
Again, the Playboy Advisor (the font of all worthwhile human knowledge :) ) is helpful. (Sorry, but like most accounts, it assumes that the receiving partner is the woman.)
... The key to enjoying anal sex is relaxation... The male should use a well-lubricated finger to gently probe and prepare the female anus for penetration. When the anal sphincter has relaxed sufficiently, penetration can be attempted, but that, too, should be done slowly and gently. If there is anxiety or pain for either partner, stop at once.
... Your partner's body may resist entrance even when she is willing. Don't respond with a vigorous thrust. Press lightly with the head of the penis; it should feel as though you're being drawn in, rather than forcing your way.
... When rectal intercourse is attempted, the anal sphincter contracts in an involuntary protective reaction. If you're new to the game, the spasm can last a minute or longer. If you enjoy anal sex regularly, the spasm can be short-lived, with involuntary relaxation of the muscle occurring within fifteen to thirty seconds. Once relaxation occurs, the penis can be accommodated with relative ease, and full penetration can be accomplished without incident.
Is this too much information yet?
And everything I've mentioned above can be done to me, save that it requires an appendage you weren't born with -- but you can get an adapter for anything these days. In this case, it's called a "strap-on", a combination dildo and harness. In fact, there are several models of double-ended dildos specially designed for simultaneous male-anal/female-vaginal penetration. For some reason, that strikes me as... ingenious.
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