[Part one]
The question then becomes, okay, I've got him tied up, now what do I do with him?
Q. Sometimes my husband and I get adventurous and try a little bondage. He loves it when I tie him up, but I never know what to do with him next. I try to tease him, but I'm looking for something that will really give him a kick.
H.K., St Louis, Missouri
Make sure your husband is comfortable and that you've agreed on a "safe word" (if he says it, the game's over). Then surprise him by walking away. Cook an aromatic pasta dish and eat it sensually in front of him. Watch an erotic video that he can hear but not see. Describe what's happening on the screen and what you're doing while watching it. Every third or fifth or tenth time he begs for attention (or whenever the hell you feel like it), wander over to pinch his nipples, tug his earlobes, tousle his hair, take off your clothes, put your clothes back on, suck his toes, kiss his balls, lick his cock. When he's good and aroused, scold him with something like, "I can't believe you think I'm that kind of girl." Spank him for leering at you. Lick his nose like Catwoman. Touch yourself. Rearrange your panty drawer. Call a girlfriend and make small talk while you nonchalantly stroke his erection. The key to his arousal -- and yours -- is to drive him wild with anticipation without letting him forget who's in charge. When you're ready, make him come.
[From The Playboy Advisor, March 1996, emphasis mine.]
You could simply leave me trapped in anticipation, knowing that I desperately want you (which I do) knowing you know it too (you do know it by now, right?).
Or go play a round of Age of Empires. Listen to me groan and writhe as you lay waste to civilizations, your helpless captive awaiting the return of the conqueror. (Maybe you should wear a loincloth while you play...:) Stick a vibrator in my ass to "hold your place". If the vibrator has a remote control (some do), you could "play" the computer and me at the same time.
This might be a good time to explore the limits of that sensitive spot on my forehead between my eyebrows.
Or you could indulge any wicked, sadistic whim that enters your head.
1. Pop a dirty movie in the VCR and lay down next to your lover to watch it. Touch yourself occasionally. Hey, go ahead and masturbate, no one can stop you.
5. Shave your lover.
12. Watch a TV show and return to go down on your lover in a wildly ferocious manner during the commercials. When you hear the show starting, stop abruptly and go back to watch. See how many shows you can fit in this way.
26. Get on an internet chat room and ask for suggestions. Avoid the quilting bee chat rooms, those are some sick fucks.
29. Invite your best friend over to help you decide what to do next. If your lover is shy, have the friend stay in the next room and call out ideas.
36. Kneel over their face and allow them to orally service you while you read a book. If they get too spirited (or make you lose your place) lower yourself a few inches until they calm down again.
After you tie, oil, and love your lover up, leave a cell phone in his or her hand and leave. How long will they hold out? Who will they have the nerve to call? Hours of fun.
Hm. Maybe I shouldn't be giving you ideas. You can be pretty darned sadistic when you want to be. (I'll draw your attention to the fact that the above list comes from a humor site and is not intended as serious advice...)
Under these conditions, almost any touch is erotic, electric. Tickling, stroking or spanking; feathers, clothespins or leather.
Even the thought that something could go wrong is arousing - that relatives, the Fed-Ex man, a wanted sex criminal, or some hypothetical cute girl could enter the house and find me vulnerable and defenseless, unable to protest, resist or escape ... at least, so long as it doesn't actually happen. (Well, maybe the cute girl... KIDDING!)
In fact, I think the only thing that might not work is if you only did the same things we would have done if I weren't restrained.
(Hm. Remember the old joke where the masochist says "Hurt me" and the sadist replies, "No." )
An especially intense form of bondage is verbal bondage: putting your bottom in some position (spread-eagled, kneeling, whatever) and commanding them not to move... and then tormenting them! One kinky variation on this is as follows: have your bottom hold their hands out in front of them, fingers splayed, each fingertip touching the opposite fingertip. Put a penny between each pair of fingertips so they're holding five pennies. Now order them not to let a single one drop, on pain of some punishment or other, and then go to work! This works best on a hard floor so you can hear the coin drop.
Hm. This might appeal to you. I know how you behave on those rare occasions when I have had to answer the phone while we're making love (or getting ready to).
[...continued...]
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