[Part one | Part two]
The traditional starting point is a four-poster beds, but:
If you are not lucky enough to own a Victorian four-poster bed, you can still make do. You can purchase four screw eyes at any local hardware store for just a few dollars...Make sure that the diameter of the eye is large enough to get your thick ropes through, and install them discreetly on the wooden frame of your bed. [From the Tangled Web BDSM Handbook, archived at sexuality.org.]
We might also need plenty of pillows, strategically placed, to make it possible to hold a position for any length of time. I'm not as limber as I used to be. Plastic bean-bag chairs are malleable and easy to clean.
Every source I've seen recommends "soft bonds" - bathrobe sashes, stockings, cords, ropes, leather straps, etc. Silk scarves are also mentioned, with the caveat that the knots may tighten so ferociously that they will have to be cut off. Chains and handcuffs are for people who don't care if it hurts. I care.
However, there is a tremendous psychological impact to the click of a lock.
Traditional ropes work, of course. Aircraft cord is not very skin-friendly. The narrower and harder the cord, the greater the risk of cutting off circulation or leaving marks. One site recommends consulting the Boy Scout Handbook for suitable knots. :) All of them recommend keeping knives or surgical scissors handy: Rope is cheap, the partner's health is priceless.
The sources I have found caution against tying too tight, or making knots that tighten when the prisoner struggles: Don't go tighter, use more rope. And never run a rope around anybody's neck.
There are, however, alternatives to rope.
I think REI carries adjustable, customizable straps for tying together odd loads while backpacking or biking: it may be possible to put together something useful there. ("Excuse me, do you have a fitting room?")
From the Tangled Web BDSM Handbook:
If you are not a natural Eagle Scout and do not have ready access to anyone who will teach you how to tie good bondage knots, cheat. Securely fasten soft, wide leather cuffs around the wrists and ankles of your victim. You will then find it easy to fasten these cuffs to the bedposts or to anything else that is handy, without having to worry about your partner's hands and feet turning blue.
Numerous online dealers carry these leather cuffs, some fleece-lined. Some have permanently-attached tethers: Others just have D-rings, for use with ropes, chains, swivel-snaps, O-rings, or what have you. Leather cuffs are probably the ideal.
I have a nylon bondage set: You strap the bracelet (or anklet, depending on size) on with velcro, then use the attached four-foot strap to tie the wrists / ankles to each other, or to the bed, or to anything else you like. The pricier sets are padded leather, but they also use real buckles: I can see advantages to the cheaper velcro, but it really isn't very comfortable. (I've, *er*, tried 'em on.)
A spreader bar is a wooden or metal rod, sometimes of adjustable length, with straps or eyelets affixed to each end. One ties one's partner's ankles or wrists (or other extremity) to the ends of the bar to keep their legs open and genitals / anus / breasts exposed and unprotected. I don't have one of these. It's probably best thought of as a substitute for mounting brackets, racks and O-rings all over the bed or bedroom.
And then there's the x-bar, sort of an instant hogtie.
The real pros build custom frames and racks to tie each other to. (Where would we put it? Hm... Maybe we could camouflage it as a headboard...) But that takes us out of the realm of gadgets and hardware and into furniture.
There is no way to disguise most sex-play furniture to look like anything other than what it is. Chairs, stocks, cages, coffins, stands, saw horses, whipping posts, crosses, racks, suspension anchors - anything you can think of to tie your lover to, there's a vendor who'll sell it to you.
Do we know anybody who has rooms in the house that they never let guests see...? (Actually, we have a hidden room -- but we use it for a sewing room!)
(Also Google for "dungeon equipment"-and watch out!)
The real pros build custom frames and racks to tie each other to. (Where would we put it? Hm… Maybe we could camouflage it as a headboard...)
Enthusiasts of Japanese bondage often suspend their partners in mid-air - and aesthetics are as important as restriction of movement. (That would probably require more flexibility and body strength than either of us have any more. And if people would talk about mirrors in the bedroom, what would they say about a block and tackle? But I have to admit the photos [Erotic Knots, Nawashibari] are fascinating - if reminiscent of human bonsai. It would be grotesque but for the obvious fact that it can't be done without the subject's assistance and cooperation.)
I've mentioned mummification. Typically, one wraps one's partner in saran wrap. Optionally, one can leave strategic points (nipples and groin) uncovered for, ahem, easy access. There is some hazard: Participants may overheat if kept confined for too long (plastic doesn't allow sweat to escape), or may panic at the intensity of the experience. (Keep surgical scissors handy for quick release.) (Form-fitting zippered latex body bags--sleep sacks, they're called--are also available.)
But none of this, nothing I'd read, prepared me for the existence of the VacBed , a concept that left me breathless, stunned and weak. It's a seal-a-meal for people: "A perforated platform with a vacuum, which sucks thin latex sheets tightly over would-be mummies." In black latex, you look like Han Solo frozen in carbonite--well, if Han Solo had been frozen naked: the less you wear, the better the vacuum seal--and almost as immobile. Thin latex allows the prisoner to squirm a little, and feel touch and temperature. (A tube fits through a hole in the sheet, allowing the victim to breathe.)
Instant bondage: Just add vacuum cleaner.
I don't have a latex fetish--at least, I didn't think I had one--but I almost came just reading about these things. I really want to try this. I mean... Is it hot in here or is it just me?
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