There is some controversy (among male doctors) as to whether the g-spot actually exists. Or, more precisely, whether it does anything. It does exist. For a significant percentage of women, it does something--and what it does is really something. There is not enough research to be certain--heck, there is no research to speak of--but anecdotal evidence indicates that most women can condition themselves to respond to g-spot stimulation, if they don't already.
(But then, Pavlov proved that anything can trigger anything, didn't he?)
It is a slightly roughened or ridged patch of vaginal wall, an inch or two inside the vagina on the front wall, roughly opposite the clitoris' position on the outside. Those doctors say that its proximity to the clitoris may be why stimulating it feels good, although most women who've experienced a "g-spot orgasm" say it is different from a clitoral one. It's also very close to the urethral sponge, which may be why stimulating it makes many women feel like they have to pee. (Or there may be another reason, which I'll talk about in a minute.)
Its position is almost analogous to the male prostate gland, so much so that there is a class of dual-purpose vibrators that serve either, depending on, well, which hole you stick it in.
My Partner in Crime does have a g-spot. I can't say I've seen it (I may never actually see it), but I have found it -- and can do so pretty much at will. The more aroused she is, the more easily I can locate it. I have not been able to generate a consistent reaction out of it. Once she came when I pressed it. (Just that promptly: Wham. Surprised the hell out of me. Seemed to do the same to her. Is it any wonder I want to try that again?)
The next time she just dashed off to pee. This seems to be a more common reaction.
Sexuality.org suggests that she should already be aroused, and well-lubricated, when we're looking for it. And, they seem to suggest, I can't surprise her: Unlike most better-defined erogenous zones (which feel good whether she knows I'm about to touch them or not), she has to know we're looking for her g-spot in order to enjoy it when I find it. This suggests that it may be more of a mental phenomenon than a physical one.
Or it could be the kind of thing that's fun to look for whether you find it or not. :)
The g-spot almost certainly has a role in female ejaculation.
That's a controversial subject, and at first I thought it was an "old wives' tale" or "urban legend", but there are enough reports (and pictures!), in sufficient detail, to convince me that there is something to it. Given how many years some "experts" remained convinced there was no such thing as a female orgasm, it wouldn't be too surprising to discover that they missed female ejaculation. Relatively few women do it, and it doesn't appear to be a necessary component of female orgasm. (You have no idea how jealous men are of the fact that there is more than one kind of female orgasm.)
Some people claim it's just urine. Those who've seen and touched it say that it clearly isn't: It doesn't look or smell like urine. Some say it has no smell at all, while others say it is very much like natural vaginal lubricant. In some women it has a milky semen-like appearance. I can find no definitive medical analysis of what, exactly, the substance is.
The female ejaculation, when it occurs, can be in the neighborhood of a half-to-full cup of liquid. (Dehydration is a real danger with multiple ejaculatory orgasms.) The fluid is ejected from the urethra, and women who are about to ejaculate feel as if they need to pee. (Being familiar with ejaculation, I can understand how it might be mistaken for a need to pee by someone unfamiliar with it. That's what I thought might be happening, the first time.) The theory is that this causes women to clamp down and "back off" from the orgasm. Although they still get an orgasm, they never get the ejaculation. I'll bet some women experience it, write it off to "some kind of discharge" and never know.
In order to experience it for what it is, say those who have done so, women have to relieve themselves just before sex, then if they feel the urge to pee, ignore it and press on. Or, rather, they should relax and let it happen. (Many couples keep disposable absorbent pads, of the kind hospitals use, marketed for coping with incontinence: These are more than capable of absorbing sufficient fluid to protect the sheet and bed.) That is, the best way to discover that it isn't urine is to "let go" and prove it.
(Again, being acquainted with ejaculation, I am quite familiar with the sensation of reaching the point at which one has to overcome one's societally-conditioned inhibition against "peeing" and let fly. Straining doesn't do it: It's a specialized form of relaxing. And I know that men ejaculate, whereas women are told all their lives that they don't: Her conditioned inhibition can be much stronger.)
It's possible that on those occasions where she's dashed off to the bathroom while we were having sex (especially when she didn't actually pee), she was approaching ejaculation and didn't know it.
From the Philadelphia Daily News (!):
Q: My 42-year-old girlfriend can squirt, or should I say gush, at orgasm. This is unlike anything a man can do and it feels incredible for me during penetration. Is this common?
- Dan
A: It certainly isn't uncommon. Unfortunately, many women who may have the potential to ejaculate during orgasm have practiced ways to "shut it off" out of embarrassment. Others, such as your girlfriend, have found ways to celebrate it.
Stimulation of the G-spot and other areas in the vagina may lead to orgasm that includes ejaculation of fluid from the urethra. This fluid is not urine.
The expulsion of fluid during orgasm is an absolutely normal phenomenon, though it doesn't happen for all women. For those women who have this experience, the amount of fluid and the circumstances under which this happens can vary dramatically.
This is something I think we should try. Of course, this may be all wrong, and she might end up peeing on the sheets for no good reason. And some women can't do this no matter how much they want to. I certainly don't want to put any performance pressure on her, and I don't want her to feel that she's "failed" if she doesn't "squirt".
But if it's true, and if she can, it costs us nothing to find out (but, possibly, a little dignity), and it seems to me it's worth knowing. Especially if she can have several of these orgasms in relatively quick succession, as first-person testimonials say is possible. The idea of watching her have five or ten (or more!) orgasms in a row, or watching her "squirt", is an indescribable turn-on for me. And if reports are accurate, she'll enjoy it too.
UPDATE: Lilith had something to say about this blog entry regarding three kinds of female orgasm:
It's pretty simple - women without clitorises don't climax. All this crap about G-spot & other types of orgasms is just that - crap. The supposed researchers are ignoring the fact that the clitoris has deep roots of nerves that extend down under the labia & along the vaginal canal, and so all the sensations are connected to the clitoris. I'm amazed that anyone still believes that baloney that the clitoris is "just like" a miniature penis.
That seems eminently reasonable to me. Most of the purely anatomical descriptions of the clitoris I've seen (not having one readily to hand at the moment) agree that, not very far from the surface, the clitoris forks and surrounds the vaginal opening. That alone should be enough to refute the "just like a little penis" argument.
That said, my search for that darned g-spot has led me to a place, or perhaps it's more accurately described as a technique, that I didn't know about before. Whether or not there is an organ in a woman's body that can be identified as a g-spot, there is a landmark on my partner's body that closely resembles how a g-spot is said to appear. (See paragraph two of this essay.) This distinctive roughened patch is usually easy to find in her lubricated vagina. (Guys, if you just go in "cold", you deserve the glare you're going to get.)
This spot, alone, doesn't live up to its press. However, I find that with a few moments' careful manipulation of this spot (slow circular motion or pulsing "firm/soft" without lateral motion), in combination with stimulation of her clitoris from outside (by hand or tongue), I get a much more satisfying reaction than from either action alone.
I conclude that Lilith is right, that it is part of her clitoris, just as (I theorize) the male prostate probably derives much of its, er, appeal from its proximity to the nether end of the penis. However, this "spot" is perfectly situated such that I can reach into her pussy, place a finger or two on the "spot" and a thumb on the clit, and... have the situation well in hand. It doesn't take much coordination to be able to satisfactorily stimulate both sides simultaneously. My mouth and free hand can roam elsewhere. Once she's aroused and receptive, it's the fastest route to her orgasm so far. (For those occasions when speed counts.)
Bravo for science!
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