[Part one] [Part Two]
Would it be arousing to watch each other masturbate?
I know that I would enjoy watching her - and I believe I would enjoy being watched by her. But would she enjoy it? And would I be able to do it with her watching? Would she?
We've watched each other come, one way or another, hundreds of times. Is this different?
Sharing a masturbation experience can be one of the most intimate acts you can experience with your partner. I find that for me it gives me an opportunity to observe my partner and watch his reactions as he masturbates. I don't feel threatened by his masturbation. Quite often it occurs when I am not really in the mood to do anything about his erection. I enjoy watching him take care of himself - actually I find it very fascinating to tell the truth. (From Masturbation for Two.)
Although it embarrasses me to say so, being watched by her is the thing I fantasize about most when I masturbate.
I picture myself shy and hesitant at first, but as she reassures me that she wants me to do this, my arousal builds. I would probably enter into the suggestible mental state some have called "sub-space", and would welcome suggestions from her. "Touch there." "Faster." "Slower." "Stop! Don't come!"
I don't know if the reality would compare favorably with the fantasy my mind conjures. It strikes me as a baby step into dom/sub: I'm at my most helpless when I'm coming, and I'm not in my right mind when I'm desperately close to that moment but not there yet. The idea of being "directed" to get myself into that condition... *delicious shudder* Plus, it really turns me on to be naked when she's not. I wish I could explain why.
On the other side of the coin is a completely different feeling when I masturbate myself and he watches. It's that feeling of being caught with one's hand in the cookie jar that adds a little extra spice to the situation. The fact that someone is watching tends to heighten the sensation for myself. I can easily get lost and imagine that several people are watching me get off. (From Masturbation for Two.)
I'm trying to imagine the scenario I've described above from the other perspective: Her, naked, awaiting my command to pleasure herself. I don't think I would want to give her detailed instructions: Our arousal patterns are too different. I know that once I'm aroused, I can stop stimulating myself for quite some time, then "pick up where I left off": Women in general do not do this, and my partner in particular does not. If I stop her and she loses the moment, we may as well rent a movie.
I think I would rather give her a few directions up front (use this toy, make sure I get a clear view at this point), then settle down to watch as she takes her own pleasure at her own pace. If she has a desire to make a full-fledged Scenario out of it, I could hide naked in the closet and peek at her...
Somehow I don't think she'd trust me if I set up the web cam. Darn it.
This may be one of those "men vs women" issues. Men, in general, like to watch (Pictures, videos, their partners, anything): Women, in general, don't. Therefore, the appeal of watching and being watched is almost hard-wired into us men, where women often react to the suggestion with glassy-eyed incomprehension - or disgust.
But not always.
My wife of ten years has just discovered the joys of masturbation. I find it a terrific erotic high watching her get herself off, and her discovery has greatly improved our sex life. [Playboy Advisor]
The first time I masturbated outdoors was on a dare from my boyfriend. It was late at night in our back yard on a summer night. At first, I felt a bit scared, knowing that a neighbor could see me. However, knowing that was also a turn-on. Being partially naked in the moonlight and feeling the air on my skin was fantastic. My boyfriend got quite a show that night. [JackinWorld, "Have you ever masturbated outdoors?"]
"I saw my husband masturbating one evening after he supposedly went to bed early," says Daisy, 37. "I had to go into our bedroom to get something and walked in on him, totally by accident. He froze and turned beet red. After a few seconds, when I realized what was going on, I sort of laughingly told him it was all right. Then, while he was still lying there in bed, I went over to him, took his penis in my hands, and said, 'Here, let me finish that for you.' I think he had one of the most violent orgasms of his life. And ever since then, we've incorporated masturbation into our lovemaking - and it's great!" -J.W., Amherst, Massachusetts. [JackinWorld, "What Women Think of Male Masturbation".]
Speaking only for myself, I can guarantee that if I'm masturbating while she's home, it's because I don't think she's interested. Nothing would please me more than to be proven wrong. But I can say that an orgasm she gives me is always preferable to one I give myself.
Q. I want my boyfriend to masturbate in front of me, but what should I do while he's at it?
A. Watching your man give himself a hand can be wildly erotic -- for both of you. Next time you're fooling around in bed, tell him how hot it would be to watch him play with himself. No doubt, he'll happily rise to the occasion. As he begins to stroke his shaft, sit back and enjoy the show. Besides turning him on, setting your sights on the way he touches himself is a great way to learn exactly what makes him moan.
You can turbocharge his libido even more by playfully teasing him. Nibble his neck, use your tongue to trace tiny circles over his nipples, gently run your fingers up and down his inner thighs. You'll set every one of his nerves on fire if you fondle his balls or lightly massage his perineum (the super-sensitive spot between his testicles and his anus).
As you feel yourself becoming aroused, you might want to jump in and join the fun. By engaging in mutual masturbation, you're not just getting yourself off in unison; you're appealing to his inner voyeur (trust us, all guys go gaga over visual stimulation). Hands down, it's one of the best ways to totally blow him away.
[From Cosmopolitan: "What Do I Do While Watching My Boyfriend Masturbate?"]
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