I really, truly enjoy giving oral sex. Anytime, anyplace, whenever she wants. (Meet you for lunch?)
I enjoy it so much that it doesn't matter if I'm going to get mine later. I actually prefer giving to getting - not that I don't enjoy getting, but I love giving! It's a taste I never get tired of. :)
It occurs to me, though, that I've never asked her how she feels about how she tastes. I've thought nothing of kissing her with her smell and taste still on my mouth. She hasn't given me any obvious indication she'd rather I didn't. Does it bother her? Does it turn her on?
"Well, my first husband was a gynecologist: all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist: all he wanted to do was talk about it. My third husband was a stamp collector... God, I miss him."
It occurs to me that I usually go oral when it's time to make her come. (It's reliable: I know I can. I can't be sure she'll climax from penetration.)
I have learned far more about how to do this from watching her reactions than from anything I've read. I know a handful of ground rules, most of which are described at sexuality.org's "Performing Cunnilingus".
A general rule of thumb (tongue?) is to start slow and pick up the pace as you go along.
No duh.
Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clitoris. ...
Often, what is unacceptably rough at first may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clitoris, but once they're there, that's where you want to devote your attention.
I've observed the truth of this. It doesn't feel good unless she's already aroused.
I have two basic techniques:
The first is to lay down with my head at her crotch, and reach under and around her ass, such that my hands can help me. This has the secondary benefit that with my arms locked around her ass, she can't dislodge me by squirming. Then I can slowly lick her labia from bottom to top. When I judge her sufficiently aroused, I concentrate my tongue on her clitoris while my hands move to her breasts and stroke lightly around, but not directly on (or not right away) her nipples.
(Another useful spot for my fingers is her waist and just below, on the sides of her belly. I can't do that until she's nearing incoherency, because it's also her ticklish spot--but by this time it isn't ticklish.)
The second, which I only figured out relatively recently, is to grasp her labia in both hands, gently pull the lips apart, and hold them open. This is difficult to do, because it isn't long before she gets slippery. :) Then I lick the nub of flesh at the top where the "wings" of her labia meet. It means my hands aren't free to stimulate other things (nipples, g-spot), but she doesn't seem to mind. She seems to enjoy the tension this creates.
The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really hot (i.e. she's no longer coherent). These are very intense actions which may be "too much" for some women, even when nearing orgasm.
With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her.
Sounds like fun, but I'm not confident of my ability to find the right place again easily if I let it go.
Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.
These are things I've tried, and she appears to enjoy them when I do, but to be perfectly honest, after all this time I still have trouble finding her clitoris. I really would like to get a good look at it someday.
Tongue the abc's. No seriously... Tongue the abc's starting with lower case, and moving though upper case. (Heck, you could do the whole ANSI ASCII set if you'd like!)
I do this frequently, and recommend it highly. She's never made it to Z. :)
If she starts bucking up against your mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, for God's sake, don't use this opportunity to try something different. Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.
Sometimes I forget this, and I always regret it. My first impulse is to slow down as she gets more excited, to try to make the moment last. Often her excitement falls so far, so fast, that she's no longer interested in regaining it. This is incredible to me, but I've seen her experience it too often to doubt it.
Okay, she's practically suffocating you, she's pressed so hard against your face; she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her pussy contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up?? The simple answer is, until she makes you stop.
OK. Anytime.
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