You probably hoped we were done with this when we got married. And maybe we are. Unfortunately, being naked outdoors has always been, and still is, a favorite turn-on for me. We don't actually have to fuck outdoors (although that's always a plus): Just being naked outdoors is exciting.
I've certainly fantasized enough about it.
Two guys are driving down the street. They see two dogs having sex on someone's lawn. The first guy says "That really is the best way to make love."
The second guy says "I don't know if my wife would go for that."
"Hell, make her a few martinis, she'll go for it."
The next week they see each other. The first guy says "Hey, did you try it?"
The second guy says "Yeah, but it took 8 martinis."
"8 Martinis! Holy Crap!"
"Yeah, after two she was feeling frisky, but it took 6 more to get her out on that guy's lawn."
(My ultimate goal in a house is to be able to fuck in the yard. We've never been able to, and it looks like we never will, but the dream lives on. What's a gazebo for, anyway? "Women used to beg me to look at their gazebos...")
(It might be possible to have sex in the back yard in the wee hours with the light off - and I won't deny the prospect turns me on - but it's unlikely you'll want to wake up at the forbidding hour it would require. And I wouldn't want to attract the notice of the Neighborhood Watch.)
There's a sequence in Kevin and Kell, (Accepting Domestication, p121, or go to the online archives and search for "theme park"), where the Dewclaws find themselves naked in a theme park, portraying "real" animals (whatever that means in the Kelliverse). I found this extremely unsettling, and only recently have I realized why: I'm so damned aroused by the idea that it seems out of place in a comic strip! I was disappointed that the sequence was so short, for all the wrong reasons.
I have no idea where we could go to have sex outdoors anymore, anyway. I believe our "old haunts" have been developed, and anyplace similar close by the house has probably been taken over by drug dealers, street people or prostitutes. Or all three.
Darnit, where do people go these days?
Sex in the sunshine is a happy thought that has stayed with me ever since the one time we were able to manage it. (I think it was a rare daytime visit to that dead-end dirt road near the water tower.)
Sex under the moon (in warm weather) is equally attractive, if it can be done without encountering chiggers.
Ah, I still fondly remember that dirt road near the water tower. It's possible that memory is too kind. Nothing but you and me and a blanket on the ground. God, I miss it.
Outdoor sex has always struck me as really the only good reason to go hiking or wilderness camping.
It occasionally occurs to me to investigate renting a cabin at one of the state parks. Unfortunately, while isolated from the other areas of the park, the cabins are not isolated from each other. And if I were to pick an off-season weekend when we were not likely to have neighbors, it would probably be too cold to consider an outdoor, er, frolic.
Our best bet would be to take an after-dark stroll down a hiking trail - but if it were secluded enough, it might not be safe, and if it were safe, it might be well populated.
I should probably resign myself to the fact that young people can get away with things that middle-aged couples shouldn't attempt.
*sigh* The water tower isn't what it used to be. The last time we passed by that way I noticed bright new "No Trespassing" signs across "our" dirt road. The area is well-fenced, and the fence is so close to the road that there's no room to pull over. It's frustrating-because the woods appear to be as inviting and all-concealing as they ever were. But then I suppose it's because of the fence, now. Times change. Other areas that (I presume) are usable for such illicit purposes are littered with beer bottles, betraying that they are likely to be occupied. The church parking lot where our First Time happened is far better lit and populated than it was. Maybe you have to get a lot further away from town now to find a place as secluded as that dirt road was then.
In light of the above, you may find it surprising to know that I did not streak in college. (I will confess here, for the first time, that I did consider it.) Reason: the point of streaking was to be seen (fleetingly) by as many people as possible without getting caught. For me, the appeal lies in getting away with it, in not being seen.
It also may appear to be a paradox that I have no interest in visiting a nudist (or "naturist", as they like to call themselves) camp. It might be tempting, if they were being marketed as simply a place where you can go outdoors naked and not be bothered. They seem keen on community, with a heavy schedule of social activities (like a cruise ship on land). I don't want to be part of a community of naked people, even temporarily: They're out there to "live free and natural": I'm out there specifically to get aroused. (I guess this makes me a pervert.)
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