As a recipient, I have enjoyed the tentative steps we have taken in anal stimulation. The French have a name for it, or so says the Playboy Advisor:
For openers, try postillionage... Simply press a finger, or a small vibrator, in or near your partner's anus just prior to orgasm. The surprise can precipitate an intense orgasm.
I'll say it can. I was extremely surprised when, the last time we were in the sixty-nine position, I felt my Partner in Crime's fingers on, but not in, my ass. My self-control fled. She circled, she tickled, she pressed, but she never went in. I desperately wanted her to go ahead, do it, and I have a memory of saying so, but given the relative position of my mouth and her ears, maybe she didn't hear me. Maybe I was incoherent. Maybe I forgot I was trying to talk with my mouth full.
Or maybe when I said "go further in" she misunderstood what I wanted further in where. She took my cock deeper into her mouth. Not that there's anything wrong with that. And I lost language for a few minutes.
I can't tell you what it feels like for her fingers to dance around my ass and not go in. I wanted to scream, cry, beg, beat my head against the wall, something. Aaugh!
The logical next step, if she is willing, is prostate massage. Of course, I have no idea how it will feel: I can't seem to do it to myself. But I am inclined to think I will like it.
(Actually, I am "inclined to think" that I will forget my own name, my eyes will roll back in my head, and I will start speaking in tongues or making animal noises, but I don't want to seem as if I'm overstating things.).
Sometimes I stick a finger up my ass when I masturbate. I have to almost tie myself in a knot to do that; I can't get out of that position quickly; and there's no way I can pretend I'm doing anything other than what I'm doing. Therefore, I only do that when I'm sure I won't be interrupted.
I can't reach my prostate that way, but what I can reach feels good.
From "Anal Sex Position Tips":
You'll find that as a man ejaculates, the entire area around the prostate, including the anus (especially if you have your finger in it), will throb noticeably. Stimulating this area even lightly during orgasm causes a man to have uncontrollable orgasmic spasms.
Is there any other kind? I don't think I've ever had a controllable orgasmic spasm.
Often, men will experience much longer periods of orgasm and will ejaculate with far greater intensity and volume.
I think possibly the last thing on my mind when I'm coming is the volume of fluid I ejaculate. I can't think of any reason to care. Can you? But when I contemplate the possibility of an orgasm being more intense, my hands start twitching.
There are two ways to perform prostate massage: Indirectly, via pressure from the outside (on the perineum); or directly, from the inside, by sticking a finger (or something) inside the anus. The prostate is about three centimeters in: It feels like a little dome.
We would need some water-based lubricant: You can't get there without it. Sources also suggest rubber or latex gloves, primarily for sanitary reasons, although they also mention that lubricants work better on surgical gloves than on bare skin.
This could be a job for a butt plug.
It's pretty much what it sounds like: A rubber (or silicone) "finger", typically three or four centimeters long and a centimeter or so in diameter, with a wide flare at one end (so that it will go only so far in). They come in various shapes, sizes, colors and textures, but typically have a slight bulge in the center (so that the rectum will "grab" it once it is inserted). Some people find the sensation of "fullness" arousing. The "outside" end stretches and stimulates the anus itself, the far end massages the prostate in men, and in women... well, as I've said, physiologically nobody's quite sure why women enjoy it. Some women don't enjoy it. But some do.
They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and textures. The silicone models are dishwasher-safe. :-)
All sources agree on this warning: Don't stick anything in anybody's ass that doesn't have a handle or flare. If it can slip completely inside, it will - anal peristalsis tends to draw things in - and it can only be retrieved by surgery. There's a trip to ER I'd rather not make. (One online sex-toy shop uses a graphic asterisk [hee hee] as an anal-safe icon, to designate items that can't get "lost".)
I actually have Good Vibrations' "p-spot kit", which is silicone with an embedded, removable "bullet" vibrator. The curved tip is intended for either prostate or g-spot stimulation, depending on who uses it where. Remember what I said under Anal Sex about starting small and working up? Believe it. This one is far larger than a centimeter in diameter. 4" x 1 3/4" doesn't seem large in cold print, but when it's going into my inexperienced ass, it's massive. I can only say it looked a lot smaller in the catalog.
I can't use it; Partner could, vaginally, if she wished to. (Yes, strictly speaking, that would make it a second-hand sex toy, and I realize the instictive reaction to that is "Eww." However, (1) it's sterile, and (2) it's just us. Any cooties one of us has, we're sharing by now.)
The quest continues for the right beginner's anal / prostate vibrator. I really want to try this. I mean, it can't possibly live up to its advertising. And if it did, I might never leave the house again. :-)
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